PGHIMC - Pittsburgh Independent Media Center

Prominent Defense Attorney S. Odamninsane Gets PGH 122 Plea Bargain
by Judge Wapner Saturday, Apr. 12, 2003 at 1:23 PM

For Pittsburgh indyMedia -- S. Odamninsane 's message of Healing and Reflection wins the day for PGH 122.

PITTSBURGH -- The assembled crowd was at times overcome with emotion and overcome by the desire for more chocolate cake. But through it all the crowd was focused on and united behind the orations of noted jurist S. Odamninsane. Bringing his message of healing, reflection and appreciation for fine confections to the Superior Court of the North Side, S. Odamninsane was instrumental in working the judicial process so that 90 of the accused civil disobedients will be required to do things that they would have done anyway and will not have any criminal record.

Asisant District Attorney Becky Saygrrrl offered to produce witnesses to the various crimes if anyone felt that was necessary as she attempted to tangle S.Odamninsane in arcane legal wrangling. But she could not have been aware that S.Odamninsane sometimes enjoys being tied up and wrangled. Citing the landmark decision of the Supremes in Jackson v. Five, S.Odmaninsane reminded the court that �one bad apple doesn�t spoil the whole bunch.�

When Ms. Saygrrrl, Esq. attempted to introduce postings from the IMC website, S. Odamninsane quickly reminded her that such things are notoriously unreliable and that IMC�s history of censorship made all information from IMC suspect. As S. Odamninsane told Judge Bushbad, the introduction of such postings would be a violation of the defendants� protections against self-discrimination and could otherwise make the defendants look stupid. The prosecution�s chief witness, Chief Joe Mughanutz of the Pittsburgh 82nd Precinct and Airborne Urban Assault Group countered by telling the Judge �Why didn�t they just rent a billboard that said �I�m guilty of premeditated stupidity, so arrest me now�?�. S. Odamninsane urged all defendants to plead the Fifth Dimension.

The Court quickly agreed and reflected on the recent peaceful assembly of the S. Odamninsane Day of Healing and Reflection. That brought to mind the scrumptious cakes and pastries had by all on that glorious day. At which point everyone adjourned to a favorite bakery and coffee shop on the Southside, where S. Odamninsane and Attorney Saygrrrl shared a double skim latte and a delicious helping of Death By Chocolate. Judge Bushbad commended S. Odamninsane and thanked the assembled defendants for their devotion to their cause (however, she warned them sternly not to mess with anyone�s commute or newspaper in this City again).

Thanks to S. Odamninsane, the rust belt may have finally caught up with the iron fist of the Murphy Administration.